Thursday, August 27, 2009

Leary

Leary. That is just how I feel all the time. I never know how I should feel about something... I think good and then things go downhill...I think bad and then things are ok. For example, I was very leary of sending Ally to school today. I don't know why, but she just got blood and I just wasn't sure. I asked Jerad, my trusty sidekick, and he said without a doubt we must send her. His reasoning was that there was nothing outwardly wrong, and we have to set a precedent. She didn't ask to stay home or anything like that. So if we let her stay home just for no reason, than we won't have anything to stand on. I think I was just feeling tired so I thought she must be too.

So I sent her and sat here with knots in my stomach yet again. I waited until about 8:30 and called her school nurse, who has been doing an amazing job at keeping me updated. I wanted to tell her about Ally's port remaining accessed until Friday, just in case. She said she thought all was fine. A little later Mrs Hamilton sent me a quick note that Ally was having her best day yet. And then several friends told me the same thing. She had a GREAT day. She came home all happy and full of energy and told me she made a new friend named Rachel. And then she said "Mom, everybody knows my name at school. Everybody" I said, what do you mean, all the teachers? And she said "yes...all the teachers, but all the kids too." I told her well it is just because you are so special....and everybody is rooting for you. Ally's army now has a whole bunch of kids from Valley in it. I see all of the bracelets! Evan and I decided to make her a brownie cake to celebrate the fact that she made it a whole day, without calling or breaking down. She is such a trooper.

Speaking of Evan, today was his last day off. He only had school on Tuesday due to the way they stagger start the kindergarteners. So while Ally and Carly were at school, we had some time together. With three kids, one sick and the other one only two years old, he doesn't get all that much attention. So we went shopping and picked out some new shoes for school. Then I decided to take him Putt-Putting, which is pretty much his favorite thing to do.
We had fun....oh yea, and then we made the cake. Anyone that knows me well...I am not a baker. I love to cook but I don't like to make desserts and I really don't even much like eating them. Weird I know, but I would rather just have popcorn or something. So this really was a huge thing for me.
Ally had such a good day that she wanted to do her homework right as soon as she walked in the door. I was trying to talk her into a break or a snack, but oh no. She even had enough energy to play....here she is with Carly and the play-dough. Man they are cute together. They absolutely never fight and they both just love each other so much. (I can't say the same thing about either of them with Evan)
I just saw all three kids shoes laying on the kitchen floor (UGH) ...And I just noticed that the shoes I bought for Evan are surprisingly similar to the ones I got for the girls. I didn't even plan it but all three have similar shoes. They are even from three different stores and Dad picked out and bought the ones for Ally. And I am very proud to say we got them all for the average price of less than $30 each. (my mom would be so proud of my bargain hunting skills)
Sorry for the tangent. So after the great day, she gets ready for bed and now she has a rash! Man, it is just always something. Now I am leary again. What is it? Maybe it is just a bug bite...no other mom would think anything of it, but with her...I just never know. Should I start researching rashes? I just went in and inspected her with a flashlight and I believe it is gone. My nerves are so frayed and I am only three days into school. I truly have to live by the motto of taking each day as it comes.

Speaking of that, tomorrow, Friday, our typical treatment day but Ally's appointment is not until 3:30. She is already accessed (we just kept it in from the blood yesterday and saved her a poke) and she just needs a push of Vincristin. That shouldn't take long. So the plan is just to take her down to the clinic after school. Starting in September, we have some seriously long rounds of chemo coming up. I will write more when I know the plans, but we are looking at 4 different inpatient hospital stays of 3-4 days each between now and mid-October. That is quite depressing to look forward to. So I will just look to tomorrow.

Last, but not least, some very generous people from St Lukes are hosting a lemonade stand/garage sale on Saturday in honor of Ally and another ALL patient we know named Lincoln. It is from 9-1. All of the proceeds will go towards Ally's walk and the L&L society. It is right off Dayton Xenia Rd in Cape Cod Colony right by the high school in Beavercreek. I would love to send some people their way. Stop by for a drink after your sporting event. And tell them you know Ally. We will be stopping by and also giving blood that day in Ally's name.


Tonights prayer is that nothing changes in the middle of the night and we just have a normal day tomorrow.




7 comments:

  1. See that blood perked her up and got her through school today. I don't know how I'd get through everyday either with the 'will I or won't I get a call?' That would be hard, but everyone (as evidenced by her saying that everyone knows her) knows her situation and I believe she is in very good hands there.

    "It shouldn't take long tomorrow"--famous last words! I hope they are true for you at least once!

    Thanks for a bit of the brownie cake, it was yummo. And is gone too. :)

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  2. I would imagine that even once this is all over your nerves will take awhile to calm themselves. You will get there, though. SOOO glad Ally had a great day at school and Evan had a day out with his mama. You both needed that.

    Hugs,
    Amanda

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  3. NORMAL is good and we wish you many NORMAL days to come!!
    Love you all,
    C & G

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  4. Wow- three pairs of shoes for around $100! Nice one. Glad you spent some time with your little man. Hope today goes well. I think that admitting your anxiety is a huge step towards dealing with it right? You are doing great- last night I didn't sleep because I was worrried about bed bugs (evidently they are a big problem in NYC). How lame am I? Thinking of you guys as always,
    Jodi

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  5. Hurray for Ally's best day!!!!! Praying for many more best days to come!!! It was great that you had a day to spend with Evan. Very cute - the picture of their shoes. Love to all of you and really enjoy these good days!

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  6. It is a mom's job to worry, about today, tomorrow and yesterday, but you are doing a wonderful job and yes, it is easy to say one day at a time but more difficult to live it that way. One day at a time----wow, today was wonderful and it just shows how quickly Ally can bounce back. By the way how good are you at that putt putt. Looks like Evan had a great time, I wished I could have some of that cake it also looked terrific. Good luck today, and enjoy a restful weekend. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. You mom is very proud of you in your shoe shopping.

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  7. I completely understand your feelings. One little change in behavior, rash, bruise, raising temp, etc. puts me on edge and makes me begin asking questions related to Maggie's disease. My worry never ends unfortunately, and I don't think it ever will again. So glad that Ally had a good day at school yesterday. It's amazing what blood will do for the body. Hope today's visit was quick and uneventful.

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