Friday, October 9, 2009

On the mend

Ally is on the mend. She has gone from being very sick 24 hours ago to now just complaining of lingering belly pain. We holed up in the house all day and tried to take care of her. There are a lot of hours to fill in a day when you are stuck inside. So we made pumpkin bread (her favorite), played play-dough (with Carly), made some homemade halloween cards, watched a show (Ally, not me), did some schoolwork, visited with Pa, and called and re-invited my Aunt Gail to come and see us, just a day late. I also did furious cleaning and trying to remove all germs from the house....all bedding, stuffed animals, blankets on the couch, etc washed. I wonder how it is that I am always picking up after the five people in this family. All. Day. Long.

I know I was in despair when I wrote last night. Jerad says "you sure get a lot of comments when you write a sad post" Yea, I do. Because when I am sad, my army lifts me up a little. I get more comments and emails. Nice neighbors bring me gifts (thanks Paula and Judy) And when life is bad and/or sad, it is just that. I cannot change it and I certainly won't sugarcoat it for the purpose of keeping this blog. I am trying to keep this real....even though I don't like what's happening anymore than anyone else.

So I kissed my little girl goodnight just a short hour ago. I said to her it is your last day to be 7. Your last kiss as a 7 year old. I said tomorrow you get whatever you want. And she said...whatever I want for breakfast, whatever I want for lunch, and whatever I want for dinner. And I said yes. But isn't that what we do everyday anyway? Oh yea, she said. But I did say that she can ask me to do whatever for her. But I usually do that too. Pushover.
For some reason, every year on her birthday I get a little sad. I remember her first birthday...crying all day. So sad that the "baby year" was behind me. It is no different this year. I am sad that she is another year older. You don't get to have your kids with you everyday for your whole life...this I realize. After a while, they are gone and off to start their own lives....and then it is back to it being just Jerad and I again. So I sort of have this mental ticker going off inside my head. I always yell at the kids when they get older (jokingly, of course) This year I am sad for more reasons than that though. So much can change in a year. I looked at this picture of her last year on her birthday, and then I wondered where we will be next year on her birthday. And then I forced myself to stop thinking about it, and just live for today.
I am hoping to have more pictures of my girl Ally over the years up for her birthday. Or shortly thereafter. A lot of you don't even know her pre-disease. Here's to hoping she can celebrate her day with minimal ailments. Just like a new parent, Jerad and I were even wishing that maybe, just maybe, she will sleep through the night. She never ever does. But one can hope.......

20 comments:

  1. Praise God that she is doing better today. You don't know me, but I've been reading your blog for about a month. I've been checking all day today to see if you had posted an update. I know what you mean about getting sad on your kids' birthdays - I think that's what moms do! May God bless you all and I hope Ally has a wonderful birthday weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Happy Birthday Ally! I hope you have a WONDERFUL 8th birthday! I hope that you are well today and feeling good and get to celebrate being you and turning eight! Take care and have a peaceful, celebatory weekend! Sheri Cobler

    ReplyDelete
  3. okay... sorry. Not sure that celebatory is even a word now that I look at it. I hate when I do that and then publish it for everyone to see! The thought was there - just not the right word. SORRY :) I hope that you guys have a WONDERFUL weekend being together and celebrating Ally!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy Birthday, Sweet Ally. We love you...
    Mrs. Booher

    To:Ally
    From: Madison

    Happy Birthday. I miss you. I hope you are feeling better. I hope you get your aquatic frog.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Happy Birthday Ally. Have a wonderful day, Janel you are doing wonders and enjoy today to the fullest and also know that there will be many more to come. We all know this to be true. Try to connect with your mom, I think that is awesome. She will give you that added boost when you need it. Have a wonderful day and know that an army of thoughts and prayers are with you each and every day, both good and bad.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Happy Birthday Ally!
    We miss you and can't wait to celebrate with you.
    The Wingers

    ReplyDelete
  7. Happy 8th Birthday Ally!! Hope you have a wonderful day and a great long weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I remember the day Ally was born like it was yesterday. Somehow I remember hers even more than the days Evan and Carly were born. I guess maybe because that day made me an Aunt for the first time. I hope she's feeling better for her day today. She looked pretty good when I saw her yesterday. Happy Birthday Ally!! We will see you later!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Happy Birthday Ally! I hope this year is full of great joy and health for you...today enjoy the best gift you have...life! Janel...you are amazing and I look forward to the day you have rest and less chaos in your life too! Always know, even though we all aren't posting with you, that many of us are still lifting you and your family up in our prayers and daily thoughts! I didn't know you or Ally a year ago, but consider it an honor to have met you through this life journey!

    ReplyDelete
  10. A very happy birthday to Ally with MANY more to come. And may she always stop by her mom's house to have her birthday picture taken, no matter old she is.

    ReplyDelete
  11. HOORAY for feeling better! I know she will be your Queen today, hope she enjoys every minute, and you too of course!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wishing the entire family a Happy Birthday!
    One of my favorite Ally photo's, when she was born. Jerad's shot of the bottom of her little feet. OH so tiny.
    Love and Hugs to all of you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. ally-hope you have a great birthday week-end.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ally - Happy Birthday!!!!! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that you get what you want for breakfast,lunch and dinner all day!! My last birthday I wanted pancakes for dinner :)))) Good for you!! Everyone in Wilmington, NC thinks of you all the time and we are OUR inspiration!!! (your Mom and Dad are big time as well too) - - YOU KEEP YOUR HEAD UP and know that you are the strongest member of Ally's Army!!!! Happy Happy Day!!!!!
    FromJennyG

    ReplyDelete
  15. That should have said YOU are our inspiration!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Happy 8th Birthday to Ally! I'm so glad she is feeling better. I didn't get to read your blog for Thursday night until Friday's was posted so I read both of them together. Your life is such a roller coaster of highs and lows - I pray for God to give you strength everyday. Hope you have a great birthday party. I also hope you get some comfort from speaking to your mom - I really believe in this. Your strength is awesome.
    Love,
    Cousin Jane

    ReplyDelete
  17. Happy Birthday Ally! You are a beautiful young lady and we hope you had a wonderful day! I wish you many, many more birthdays to celebrate!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Happy Happy 8th Birthday Ally! Hoping your day is incredible, fantastic, and everything you want it to be! :o)

    ReplyDelete
  19. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLY! 8...WOW! It seems like only a few days ago that I was eating at Frisch's with your Mom before you were born. Do you by any chance have a craving for a Big Boy today? Because your Mommy sure did while you were in her belly. The Robbins family.

    ReplyDelete
  20. When our daughter went through her treatment for ALL almost five years ago, I always said it was other peoples prayers is what got us through those moments when you felt like you couldn't take it one more day. I truly do believe in the power of prayer. YOu will get through this and I continue to pray for your Ally constantly. God bless Ally and your family and I'm praying Ally can have a wonderful birthday celebration. Tell her the Schmitz's wish her a Happy Happy Birthday!!

    ReplyDelete