Monday, October 26, 2009

No change

I am going to make this short and sweet before I collapse into my bed. The days are long, hard, filled with worry, and also filled with complete silence. Ally is still not talking..so all I hear all day is the drone of kids shows in the background. And the beeping of monitors. A visit by the nurse is my highlight. Tomorrow is the 12th day in a row at the hospital and sadly enough the 12th day I have had to find someone to help me care for the other two kids. I am especially grateful for the help I have received in that area. Today Aunt Jess took a day off work and drove down from Columbus to help. I don't know how people do this for so long. Everyone worries about Ally, but the other two are suffering too. We all are.

Ally continues to suffer and they have increased her morphine drip yet again. She still won't talk except a few scant words. We have developed hand signals for different things...potty, etc. She did arise for a little while today when the craft cart came in (imagine that) and she put together a few basic crafts before that wore her out. She has developed quite the reputation at the hospital for her drawing skills. This time she has drawings of gremlins posted on her door. They are seriously good. She also drew all the characters from Where the Wild Things Are the last time she was in. In great detail and she remembered all of their names even after seeing the movie just once. All of the nurses know of her artistic talents and the child life specialist brought her some special sewing projects for today that she had found. Everyone there is always thinking of her. She is one of the sweet ones to take care of I think....she is sweet and polite to the staff even in the midst her pain. That is just my Ally. She has always been like that and continues to be so even through the hardships. I am so proud of her and the way she handles herself.

With no end in sight, we just keep persevering through. There is little time for anything but caring for the children and I have barely seen my husband since last Thursday. Only a few small minutes when we transfer her over. Jerad worked today, sleeping at hospital tonight, and back to work tomorrow.

Did you know some parents leave their kids in the hospital with noone there? For days on end? Like it is a babysitting service? The thought left me very sad today. I feel bad even running down to the cafeteria and I often just skip meals altogether. What in the world are people thinking.

Thanks for the support. We love to read the comments. It gives me something to view in my silence and I just imagine you are there talking to me.

12 comments:

  1. Hi, Janel! I'm so sad to hear that Ally is still in so much pain. We are all praying for her and all of your family. In fact, at Mass on Sunday, Max wanted to light a candle for Ally after church, so of course we did. He also signed her name in the parish book of prayers. And, tonight during bedtime prayers, he prayed for her again. I've always been told that God always hears the prayers of children. You and Jerad are amazing parents. Ally (and Evan and Carly, too) is so blessed to have you there with her every step of the way. I'm sure you don't always feel it, but you are so strong. Baby Joshua will be 5 months old tomorrow, which means you have 5 months behind you. She is going to beat this!

    Shelley

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  2. So glad to read this post...been checking all day. I'm so sad to read there's no change in Ally today but it's still a relief to hear from you. Words seem so inadequate right now in the midst of everything you're dealing with right now so I'll just leave it at this...peace to you tonight.

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  3. You are so proud of your Ally and how she handles herself and all of us are very proud of you and Jerad and Carly and Evan and the way you are handling this. There are really no words to ease this suffering, just know that we are all here for you and the "army" will get through this, extra prayers for all of you tonight.

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  4. Hopefully prayers will be answered today with some ease to Ally's pain. Ally sounds just like you, gracious and kind, so glad that they are giving her special crafts to help the time go by. Take care.

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  5. Janel, I just want you to know that I read your posts everyday and Ally has a special place in our prayers everyday as well. I'm so sorry that she is suffering so much right now. I'm amazed everyday when I read how strong she is and how well she handles everything that is thrown at her. It sounds as if she is coping with her current pain in the best way she possibly can - her kindness and politeness to those around her even in the midst of her pain is a true testament to her parents. She's a blessing to you because you're a blessing to her. Take care of yourself Janel and never forget how many people love you and are praying for you - even those of us who don't comment that often.

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  6. Terri Barnett ShumakerOctober 27, 2009 at 7:53 AM

    Hoping for all to be better soon. Wish I could send some words of wisdom but just know that we are all thinking of you all and praying everyone feels better soon and that the flu bug/germs stay away from your family.

    Jared has my email if you want to email someone just to chat while you are sitting in the hospital.

    Take care and God Bless you all.

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  7. Thinking of you Janel, your Ally and Evan and Carly. Lots of prayers and love follow you all day from the army of your readers, loved ones, friends and semi-strangers like me. Hoping the sunshine reaches through the hospital windows today.

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  8. Hoping you and your family have a better day today. We are thinking of you!

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  9. Not sure where to start other than to say my heart hurts for Ally and the entire family. I keep lifting her and the family in prayer asking God to hold you all close and relieve the pain. I can't wait until the day she has kicked this disease to the curb and look forward to seeing her physically strong again. I know this is hard to beleive, but Ally is an inspiration to us all.

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  10. I am so sorry to hear that Ally's mouth sores have not improved yet. We are continuing to think of you and pray for Ally. I hope today might be the day things start looking up. Take care-

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  11. I think that way of Ally, too, as someone who chooses to be polite and kind, always. Love that kid. She is going to grow into a deeply empathetic woman because of what she's been through. Thinking of you all. Love from VA.

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  12. I was sorry to read your post that Ally isn't feeling any better. Please know that all of you are in my thoughts. She is an amazing child to endure what she has and so well and that is because of all the love and support she has behind her beginning with you and Jared. Hang in there and remember use your friends for whatever you guys need thats what we are for. I just wish I lived back in Dayton to be able to do something more.

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