Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Another bump in road

Just when I thought things were bad, they got worse. We did manage to get Ally off to school today. It wasn't easy. Ask Jerad or any of my neighbors that saw her getting on the bus. But once she separated from us she was fine. I stopped in to check on her about 10 am and her teacher said she had been fine. No tears. She did manage to take her Bobo on the bus today (our mistake) and Mrs Hamilton said she was touching Bobo throughout the day as a comfort.

She came home from school and was tired. She usually is. So she laid on the couch and actually fell asleep. When she woke up at 4:30, she felt warm and had a fever brewing. I think is was 99.5 at that time. Pretty soon it got up to 100.5 and stayed there for about an hour and a half. That is our cue to page the doctor on call. He directed us to head to the ER, which Jerad took her about 6:45 pm. We just know to pack and bag and plan for the worst.

They admitted her to the hospital at about 10pm tonight. With the fever, and her ANC number had dropped to Zero, they had no choice. I believe it is a mandatory 48 hour stay at a minimum. They won't let her go home until her ANC comes back up and her fever is gone. Jerad said she is either sleepy or crabby. Poor girl.

You know my personality is such that I am second guessing myself yet again for sending her to school. I listen to my doctors....someday I will learn. I wish there was a book that I could reference...if child says this, then do this, etc. Unfortunately there is no book to tell me what to do. There is no family member or friend that can tell me what to do. No one that I know has done anything like this before, except for a few of my online friends who also have a child with a serious illness. I had lots of interesting comments today. I read them all, and I think they are right. I have to make my decisions and then move on. Never look back. One day at a time. I am trying. I am really trying.

I have yet another fundraiser that I will mention on the blog. There will be a Tastefully Simple party in our neighborhood here at Stonehill. It is an open invitation to anyone local to attend, even if you don't live here. The invitation is below. I think you can click it to make it larger. Anyone out of town can participate too, as there is an online link on the invitation. The business owner is graciously donating all of her proceeds to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. And thanks to Ally's home instructor and friend Judy Brower for organizing this. If Ally is home and well, I will bring her up!
Please say a prayer that Ally (and Jerad) have a restful night in the hospital and that the fever goes away as quickly as it came. I want her to feel better and go back to being a normal child again. We had been doing so good there for a while. We haven't seen an inpatient day since the middle of June. I would also like her to start eating again. Jerad said she weighed in at 64 pounds, down from 67 on Friday. And down from 79 at the beginning. She is looking so tiny....


  1. I was hoping to read that she had a better day today. I guess she did at school, but I didn't know she ended up at the hospital tonight. Like you say though, it's just another bump in the road. That's all it is. Sorry she's got to stay there, but it will help her get over the fever. You can't second guess yourself because you sent her to school. I wish there was a manual too that you could follow, but you just have to follow what you think is right and not look back. I'm not sure if it's hard for her to fully communicate how she feels, but that's just because she herself doesn't really know all that's going on and if she did then we would have probably learned about the leukemia a little sooner. So keep making your decisions and just know that they are never wrong.

  2. We're praying in our little corner of the world too.

  3. so sorry to hear about ally. hope that her fever breaks soon.

  4. Dear Friend,
    You are doing the best you can. Somedays you just won't know what to do, but you do your best and trust that it's right. Hated to see Ally down these past few days but I'm confident her good days will come back. Madison's going to be mad if "Nails on Wheels" isn't rolling again soon!

  5. Strong, healthy thoughts coming your way. You are doing a great job; all of you are. Too bad there isn't a tool you could use like a thermometer to give you her counts...that might help with the tough decisions. But doubt not, you are making and will continue to make the best decisions you possibly can. And in the end, isn't that the best you can ask of yourself?

  6. A friend of my parents' says that you never make the wrong decision. Now we have had many discussions about the validity of this, but basically he means that you never make the wrong choice because at the time, with the info you have, you will follow your heart and make the best choice every time. It may look wrong in retrospect, but it was the right one at the time; don't look back!
    I so hope Ally is feeling better today and that the fever has broken. It's a hard time of year for us moms, I've cried my eyes out over having Owen gone all day to first grade, and am dreading sending Will to preschool for the first time tomorrow, and my kids are healthy! It's the going back to routine, not having them with you, and letting go of control I think, then add that they don't always want to go and you have to push them to do something you aren't even crazy about that makes such a conflict in our hearts.
    I did love the idea of sick days that someone mentioned yesterday as it takes away a little of the 'me against you' argument and puts the responsibility on the child. Second graders, especially someone who is mature like Ally, can probably handle it.
    Anyway, our love and prayers are with you, hope today is better and that Ally is home soon.

  7. You and Jerad are doing a wonderful job and making the right decisions. There is no way to know just what that crummy disease is doing to her strength and resistance. Ally will bounce back and she will be stronger than ever. You are doing a great job, one day at a time, it is very, very difficult but as you are finding out, very, very necessary. My thoughts and prayers are with your entire family each and every day.

  8. From one former Mills girl to another - you are doing a wonderful job. Hindsight is 20/20 on every decision. No one can know a fever is coming. You are listening to the health professionals who have worked with this disease, what else can you do? If something feels really wrong, then listen to your Mom's intuition - you had an excellent teacher. Your strength is awesome. Praying for good reports for Ally.