Wednesday, March 3, 2010

With sadness I write...

It doesn't even seem appropriate that I am writing tonight. But I don't know what else to do and somehow things must keep going. We are having a really bad week, but it pales in comparison to the Lewis family. Ally's best little friend from the hospital, Davey, died suddenly last night in the middle of the night. He was her age and her friend and when she was in the hospital they spent a lot of time together. They played games a lot and carved their pumpkins together this year. At Christmastime, when she was given the opportunity to make a build-a-bear, she didn't make one for herself. She made one for Davey. They were both there together on Christmas Day. When we go to the clinic, we stop in to see Davey. He had AML and was in the hospital a lot...he was just finishing up his last chemo. He was almost done...just a few weeks left of inpatient after being diagnosed a couple months after Ally. His treatment was much shorter, but also harder. He got an infection that just took over his body. Last evening he was up on 4, quickly went to the PICU, and then passed very quickly. I got the news this morning, and it is extremely hard to bear. Again, I haven't even told Ally yet. I have to build up my strength, figure it out, and see if she can talk to some mental health people. Please don't ask her about it or mention it.

I tell you all of this about Davey because he was such a special boy. If there was a popularity contest in the hospital, this kid would have won it. He knew everybody...even the security guards downstairs. He was always goofing off in the hallway in a wheelchair..always coming into our room to just hang out. Jerad loved him, often playing games with him when Ally was too sick to play. We all loved him. And now, in the blink of an eye, he is gone. We will NEVER forget him. Tonight I am praying for his mother and father and brother and sister. How they go on I will never know.

Three other hem/onc patients were also in ICU last night. Maggie, Lincoln, and Carly are still fighting. I have really never even heard of more than 1 oncology patient being in there at a time. Now 4 were there just last night. It is breaking everyone at the hospital. It hurts.

And Ally. Well she is having a rough time. She cannot and will not eat. She ate a little ice cream tonight, after we begged her, and promptly threw it back up onto my Dad's driveway. (sorry) Her belly is hurting. She has yet to get to school. But she is home and we can bear it. Tomorrow we go for Evan's cardiologist visit. I will update when I know more, but I am honestly thinking it will be very minor. Really how much is too much to bear?!? We can't be given anything else right now. We just can't.

10 comments:

  1. I'm sorry Ally is not feeling well. I've been thinking about and praying for her. I'm so sorry to hear about her little friend Davey. Devastating. My thoughts and prayers are with his family and yours, too. It has to be so difficult. My heart is breaking for his family and friends and I didn't even know him. It's just not fair.

    Shelley

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  2. I am so sorry, Janel... I am sorry for you and Jerad and the kids to have to deal with all of this. I am sorry for poor Ally to have to feel so terrible, so painful. I am sorry that you have to add, on top of everything else you go through daily, this loss. When it seems like things are turning a corner, it's like this disease suddenly meets back up with you. I am confident though, that one day, you and Ally will turn the corner, walk a little further and turn another- and another... with this disease no where in your sight. She is fighting... and she will win.

    MUCH LOVE- Jill, Gary, Ella and Grant

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  3. Oh Janel, my heart physically hurts for Daveys family. May they feel buoyed by the prayers of so many as they mourn their loss and celebrate their sons life. May you feel the strength of prayer tonight as well.

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  4. Oh I feel so sick for Davey and his family. I haven't gotten any new Cambridge updates from Lincoln's Mom. I just get on my knees and pray for him and you all every night!

    Evan is in our thoughts today!
    No words can express the concern and helplessness I feel for you and all of the families sufferring right now.

    Jenn

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  5. Janel... I've thought about Ally sooo much lately and praying that I don't see her in the unit any time soon... I even check the computer too make sure she's not there. Davey was truely a "spirted" boy with sooo much to give and more life in his little finger than many have in there whole body!! I do hope and pray for his mom and dad and family, they too are a wonderful family and have endured sooo much. I am some good vibes to Ally for her to eat....I'm sending thoughts of chicken nuggets right now :)
    Lara

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  6. praying . . .
    praying . . .
    praying . . .

    xoxo

    Amanda

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  7. My heart breaks for those families. Please stay strong Janel and continue to feed off of all the love and prayers coming your way ... I love you to pieces.

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  8. My heart aches for Davey's family and for all of you...especially Ally as she will be so sad about the loss of such a good friend.I know you will assure her that her leukemia is not the same as Davey's. At least, that should help to calm any fears that she may get upon hearing about her friend. I am so sorry that so many families and children are suffering.

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  9. Janel and Jeard my prayers are with you!!! Prayers of strength and offered for you. If you need some help finding Ally someone to talk to or need to find help in how to break the news to her please email me. I know Jared from Junction and I currently work with a adult hospice and a Childrens bereavement counseling center called evergreen. I could ask the counselors if they could suggest something in or around your area. My prayers are with you and I know your Ally will be strong. Have unwavering faith and he will grant you continued strength. My prayers are with you!!!!! Shawn Young

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  10. Praying for you all that tomorrow will be good news! We will continue to pray for Ally and for Davey's family. God is a God of miracles!

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