Wednesday, November 11, 2009

It didn't last.

Ally was admitted back to the hospital today. She has had a small fever for days and it finally busted up over the threshld of 101. She has mouth sores and is screaming in pain at times. She is vomiting up a lot of the phlegm and whatever it is that goes along with the mouth sores. They are doing some x-rays of her abdomen due to her pain level with that. She is back on morphine, antibiotics, etc. The poor girl cannot catch a break.

How much longer can I watch my daughter suffer in pain? How many times do I have to look her in the eyes and give her some feeble offer of help. A popsicle? A glass of water? Medicine? There is nothing I can do most of the time. It is awful. And need I repeat it, it is just not fair. I am tired and worn out. I am finding it very hard to take care of the other two kids and/or myself. When, oh when are we going to get a reprieve?


  1. I wish I could help you. Not that my kids have ever faced what Ally is, but it is always hard when your babies are sick and you can't help them. May you find comfort in the many prayers that are being said around the country for Ally and your family. Just keep remembering the "Remember this; Deuteronomy 31:8" that you have on your blog. My daily routine includes praying for you and checking your blog, hoping for good news.

  2. Janel,
    You can and will get through this!
    The pain is in your words.
    I know that there are literally 100's praying everyday for Ally and the family.
    Find the strength in God, family and friends.
    One day at a time. I know that you don't want to look back, but, you have been through so much and have conquered.
    Hugs to all of you.

  3. Oh Janel, I wish I had words of comfort for you. I can only offer this from the book of Psalms: (27:7-9)

    Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud,
    be gracious to me and answer me!
    "Come," my heart says, "seek his face!"
    Your face, Lord, do I seek.
    Do not hide your face from me.

    I will pray that for you tonight Janel. And for Ally. That as you both cry aloud, the Lord will show his face to you.

  4. I wish there was something I could do too to help make the pain go away. Everyone does. Why she has to go through this, I don't know. It's totally not fair. But you are getting closer to the end each and every day and that's all you can do. And remember: this is down. You WILL be up again. Hoping it means that she will be up and everyone be well for Thanksgiving so we can all be together.

  5. I don't know how long it will last, but I pray it will be over soon. I am so sorry. Love and prayers from Virginia.

  6. I don't know who "Erin" is, but I say "ditto" to her post! Cry to the Lord - He hears you. He is building perseverance and longsuffering in you through this most difficult of things. I heard it once said that when you are facing great challenges and immense pain, to "do the next thing". Don't go way out into the future, don't fall back into what was, but just do the next thing, whatever it is, and keep your focus there. God loves you...He sees what's happening...and the reprieve is coming. Hang tight. LOVE YOU ALL - HUGS TO ALLY.

  7. Love is the only thing that will get you thru this. Love Ally fiercely, she will feel it. Hug her like there is no tomorrow. Love Evan and Carly when you see them. Love your husband. Love your family. Hold on to all of them and don't let go. Not for a second. You will all make it thru. Today is all you have. Stay in it, it is safer than all the other days. You can hang on together. Everyone is sending love to hold you all. Take it in.

  8. I wished I could hold you and Ally and just make all of this go away. She knows that you would end this pain if you could. You must take care of yourself so that she fights, you can do this. As Jodi always says, one less day of this, one day closer to success. Feel all of us here, loving you and your family and praying for you. We will get through this together.

  9. I'm sorry Janel. I know how you feel and I hope you get your reprieve soon. Praying for you all.

  10. crap. Through your words I feel pain, frustration, and anger for all of you, yet I can do nothing but offer support and thoughts. I do believe that you need bad days to truely appreciate the good, but I'm tired of you having bad days. So tonight I will pray for a better tomorrow. And look for your post, whether good or bad, believing that life will get better.