Sunday, August 29, 2010

Happy Weekend.

We have been blessed with another very normal weekend and I am once again feeling blessed. Things are definitely becoming to seem more normal to us. Really, it is the most normal things have been since January 2008 when my Mom was diagnosed with her cancer. Since that time we have lived through a two and a half year siege on our family. Definitely good times and bad but really nothing that resembled my life as I knew it before that time. Although I say the word "normal" reality that will never again be the case for us. We will always live in constant fear and to combat against this we also live with constant faith. We pray a lot and we don't take anything for granted. I have a longing in my heart for the days that I did not worry and when daily stresses were now things that I would consider laughable. I have lost the protected innocence with which I once used to go about my day. I still mourn for it. But I cannot dwell on it and I must enjoy the day for what it is RIGHT NOW,

As such, tomorrow starts a new chapter in our lives. My baby girl is starting her school career at Kirkmont Preschool, the same school her brother and sister attended and surrounded by people close to my heart. People that have followed our story everyday since Ally's diagnosis. I have thought about this day for a long time. ON a lot of those cold and boring and dreary winter days, when I just wished for a moment of peace when no one would be crying, asking for something, wanting me to entertain, cook, etc....I would daydream about the day that they were all in school. Even just for a little bit. I had moments by myself in there, sure, but it would always involve me having to arrange a babysitter or someone to watch them a little bit while I ran to the dr, the dentist, whatever. I always had to set it up. And now it is set up for me. Just about two hours. Three times a week. It will go by quickly, but I cannot believe it is actually here. Not to sound ungrateful for my kids or my life or anything like that.......I wouldn't change a second of what I have done for the last NINE years. I will still use my time to work and clean and run errands and all the other obligations out there. NO JERAD I will not be sitting on the couch eating bon bons and reading US Weekly. (just kidding, he wouldn't even care if I did) I am just saying I am very very happy right now. So happy I can barely even talk about it. I can't jinx it. It can't change on me. I have lost my ability to count on anything because nothing is ever guaranteed for us. I guess what I am saying is that I am so torn......

On Friday, we took the sweet girl to preschool for an open house. As soon as I pulled in the parking lot, Carly said "Yay, I am going to school" She is so ready for it and so looking forward to it. I see a lot of other nervous parents out there, but Carly seems like she will just run in and start playing babies and dress up and play dough and never turn back. We will see....

Our normal weekend ended up being super hot. We wanted to do something outside but ended up going to a movie and dinner instead. Someone had given Jerad a gift card to Chili's, so we went there. As soon as we walked in, we saw an old friend who is the hostess there. She was actually the girlfriend of the first person we ever knew to succumb to childhood cancer (brain) Aaron Whitmer. He lost his battle while still in high school. Ironically, she handed us some coloring sheets that the kids could do to raise money for St Judes and childhood cancer. Well sign us up for that! They also are selling those silly bands for the same benefit and they are shaped like chili peppers. I was so happy that a restaurant was working so hard to make a difference for the kids that I had to mention it here. If you can't decide where to go, I vote for Chili's.

Finally, one of our neighbors had a birthday party with a 70's/disco theme. Happy Birthday Jenny! We had a great time and I kinda figured some of you from back in JC would like to see Jerad's we are....

Thanks for following our story and praying for our girl. Her chemo was increased again as her ANC is back up around 4000. This is just a game of numbers...high then low then high. I am praying they can figure out the exact dose for her. I do think her number is artificially high since she just came off the steroids. We will see on Tuesday when we head back for her weekly blood test


  1. Oh, I love the pics! Hilarious...of Jerad and you all, and DARLING of sweet Carly! I love it that you had fun and a "normal" weekend. Cherish those 2 hours...your "babies" will need you more than ever as they grow in this crazy world! You are doing a GREAT job as a mom, wife, friend, etc. I'm so proud of you! Continual prayers...every day. LOVE YOU!

  2. You and I must be on the same wave length today . . . My boys are both in school today and I (for the first time in 7 years) am home without my kiddos or hubby. Sure, I too have had a sitter here or there, but nothing like this. Enjoy your deep breath . . . You have earned it.

    One of these days we will have to exchange numbers and chat for real. : )


  3. Your costumes are great!!! You all look adorable!

    Love the weekend of normal family time!

    Never feel bad about a few hours of alone time a week...It makes us better Mom's to actually collect our thoughts...look at me today I was running around like a crazy person...didn't know the right field...didn't know the right night ahhhh!

  4. I really enjoyed chatting with you today while we were reveling in the awesomeness of our very 1st kid-free morning...celebrating a little freedom by getting pedis!

  5. It makes me happy that you are so happy!