First Communion

Well it seems you all enjoyed the video that I posted prior from Ally's school. I still can't get over how moving that was. I still cry when thinking of it. Cried again today when I heard how great Lisa and Will did. And in the rain too.

I have been so nervous about Ally getting a fever. She is right on the brink of when she normally gets one. Thankfully, she has been alright and made it to her First Communion. This whole event brought a new series of emotions to the table. Seeing her in that white dress...it is almost like she is a little bride. I can't help but pray that I WILL get to see her be a bride. The day was somewhat marred by her being on steroids. Those hateful little pills cause her to go into a sort of catatonic state. She doesn't talk a whole lot, she doesn't smile much, and it is almost as if she is looking through you when you talk to her. And they also caused her to gain 10 pounds from the time I bought the dress about a month ago. (but it still fit, albeit snugly) For most of those girls, (and boys) it was probably an exuberant day followed by a fun celebration or party. For Ally, it was more going through the motions. I did get a few smiles out of her...and I think she enjoyed opening her presents while being swarmed by all her cousins/friends. Regardless of her mood, we were very grateful to have all of our family and friends with us to mark the occasion. She is getting to be such a big girl.

Ally with her godparents Melissa (my sis) and Brad (Jerad's bro)

With Jerad's parents

And her Pa

At the church, the veil just wouldn't work or look right, so we found this hat. Not ideal, but what can you do?

This is the rush by the kids to watch her open presents...

Jerad and I both notice how adultlike she is. She really has lost a lot of the childhood things...and rather prefers to do things that I do. On Saturday, before her communion, she was bored. So......she made lunch for Evan and Carly, emptied the dishwasher, made her bed and Evan's and Carlys, etc. You get the idea. She has spent so much time with me over the past year that all she knows to do are the things that I do as a Mom. She is my shadow. Always. So I am really looking foward to the day when we can adequately make the break and she can reenter into childhood society once again. (although it is quite nice to have her helping all the time) She is really such a good girl. I am proud of her and all that she has become.

Ally is having a horrific time sleeping. The steriods do that too. She just can't sleep...even with a few doses of melatonin. Thankfully she took her last two pills tonight and it should start to wear off in a few days. Tomorrow we are heading to Cincinnati to meet with her Radiation Oncologist: Dr Breneman. Another Dr. B to add to our hero list. I have no idea what all this is going to involve, well except a lot of driving and time, but I will report back when I know more. From the onset, this was the one thing that I really didn't want to do. Almost backed out of, actually. But that would have meant pulling her out of the whole study. It is with fear that I allow her to do it. I always have fear, but with this it just seems a little more severe. But we will do what we need to do. Whatever we have to do to rid Ally of cancer cells. Forever. Please God, let it be forever.