With sadness I write...

It doesn't even seem appropriate that I am writing tonight. But I don't know what else to do and somehow things must keep going. We are having a really bad week, but it pales in comparison to the Lewis family. Ally's best little friend from the hospital, Davey, died suddenly last night in the middle of the night. He was her age and her friend and when she was in the hospital they spent a lot of time together. They played games a lot and carved their pumpkins together this year. At Christmastime, when she was given the opportunity to make a build-a-bear, she didn't make one for herself. She made one for Davey. They were both there together on Christmas Day. When we go to the clinic, we stop in to see Davey. He had AML and was in the hospital a lot...he was just finishing up his last chemo. He was almost done...just a few weeks left of inpatient after being diagnosed a couple months after Ally. His treatment was much shorter, but also harder. He got an infection that just took over his body. Last evening he was up on 4, quickly went to the PICU, and then passed very quickly. I got the news this morning, and it is extremely hard to bear. Again, I haven't even told Ally yet. I have to build up my strength, figure it out, and see if she can talk to some mental health people. Please don't ask her about it or mention it.

I tell you all of this about Davey because he was such a special boy. If there was a popularity contest in the hospital, this kid would have won it. He knew everybody...even the security guards downstairs. He was always goofing off in the hallway in a wheelchair..always coming into our room to just hang out. Jerad loved him, often playing games with him when Ally was too sick to play. We all loved him. And now, in the blink of an eye, he is gone. We will NEVER forget him. Tonight I am praying for his mother and father and brother and sister. How they go on I will never know.

Three other hem/onc patients were also in ICU last night. Maggie, Lincoln, and Carly are still fighting. I have really never even heard of more than 1 oncology patient being in there at a time. Now 4 were there just last night. It is breaking everyone at the hospital. It hurts.

And Ally. Well she is having a rough time. She cannot and will not eat. She ate a little ice cream tonight, after we begged her, and promptly threw it back up onto my Dad's driveway. (sorry) Her belly is hurting. She has yet to get to school. But she is home and we can bear it. Tomorrow we go for Evan's cardiologist visit. I will update when I know more, but I am honestly thinking it will be very minor. Really how much is too much to bear?!? We can't be given anything else right now. We just can't.