Jittery

The Barnetts are back in town. I cannot even begin to explain how wonderful our trip was. It was so great to go on a "chemo free" trip (easy to get through the security with no liquids now!). The kids were so wonderful. They (we) all got along very well and we enjoyed being together for an extended period of time. We had a couple days with Dad and Barbara at the condo in Longboat Key. Then we drove over to Disneyworld (about two hours) and spent two nights and three days there. Three days was just enough for me and my feet! Lots of walking and we were always pushing two of the kids in a rental stroller....that's still the only way Ally can do it. We did Animal Kingdom, Magic Kingdom, and Hollywood Studios. I realized exactly how fun and special it was when we were leaving on the last night and Ally started crying because she didn't want to leave. But happy day...we got to go back to Longboat and have two and half more days at the beach! And we even found a few sand dollars. I have such a backlog of pictures to share from a multitude of things. I could keep this blog going forever...but now just trying to get back into the swing of things.

And honestly, I am finding myself in a bit of a tunnel tonight. Ally goes back to the hospital tomorrow for her monthly appointment. They will test her blood after a full month of no chemo and I have been extra anxious and stressed today. I know it is just one more thing I have to get through, but she has had a few things lately that make me worry (rash, headache, etc). A lot of people ask me how I have gotten by in the past with the stress of everything around me. Truth is...I have this uncanny ability to remove myself from this situation...almost as if it is happening to someone else. This is how I have been able to get up and speak on such an emotional subject in front of people so many times. I really don't let myself go "there" all too often. I change subjects in my mind about 100 times a day. This is why I may also seem so scatter-brained! But anyway, today the stress of Ally's test is in the forefront of all my thoughts. And today I couldn't seem to escape from it. As much as I tried to "change the subject" of my thoughts, the worry kept coming back. I just keep telling myself to have faith. Have Faith Janel. This is just another step along the way that I have seen so many other people struggle with.

I could use a few extra prayers though. And will post more when we know her counts.

PS...If anyone is interested, WSU Soccer is doing Ally's Army night again on Saturday night at 7. They are raising money on our behalf to donate to one of our causes. We would love to see any Army members there.